The Narcissist’s Predictability Is Our Guidebook to Peace

Your life has been altered by a narcissist. The world was under the influence of one for four years. If you are fortunate enough to have avoided close interpersonal relationships with narcs you may imagine a narc in broad terms based on having heard the word used here-and-there. If you thought a narcissist to be a person who thinks only of themselves, you imagined correctly. But narcissists are more dangerous than selfish people. Understanding the dynamic of this personality disorder and the nature of the abuse experienced by their victims may reveal…


Now What? Life After The Mueller Testimony

My social media feed is strangely quiet in terms of aftershock from Mueller’s testimony. Maybe this is a good sign. I wonder if people are considering. Since the media tends to clump ideas and reduce complex issues to talking points and sound bites I thought that I’d do something only a human can, share my thoughts in spite of the fact that I am neither politically astute nor particularly well educated about world affairs. On the contrary I’d rather be thinking about art or be outside in nature but these days demand that…


The End? #MeToo

One day before the midterm elections I entered a waiting room to join about 8 witnesses who were there to defend Dr. B. They were there because of me. The door not yet shut behind me; a witness that knew my face spoke loudly, “Wendy you need to sign in.” Every eye in the room looked up with a burning gaze. The whispers came, “that’s her isin’t it?” Then came low-brow salon talk, a simplistic way of forming a bond akin to something one might find in a playground. A class clown emerged. Realizing that her new…


What Money Buys — Aspen, Co

I’ve been in Aspen, CO mingling with the 1% for a couple of weeks. Each day I drive by a boutique airport of private jets. The folks who keep them keep an extra car too, often a Bentley or Ferrari. One need only go through airport security once to realize that wealth buys agency. Well dressed, clothes pressed, polite airport employees ask a rhetorical question, “you don’t have any of these things right?” A pointing finger is aimed at a sign of banned items, a nod will do, access granted.

While here I am…


Rilke said, “Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

This morning the news tells (again)that the world is ending. The monster is still at the helm. Reasonable people in the media compliment the creature when he does something that is not morally vacant as if to prove by their own action that morality exits still. At the cost of decorum, they prove that ego and naïveté are alive and well. I think that we must hate him or risk fooling ourselves into believing that decency survived these dark days. Only martyrs cling…


The Snobbery of Light

A Google search reveals a snob to be, “a person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people.” I wonder how having an ideal is different, or do the concepts interlock?

My treasured moment comes in hazy recollection, a fleeting instant of intimacy with air and light. The air, being lit by a luminous ray cast from the sun produced for a moment, into the nothingness, an optical impression of wide opaque bands and levitating orbs that bounced in space towards the infinite. I measure my life experiences…


We must take seriously that the death of the human heart is a sign of the time we live in. There are only two ways to respond to brutality, malice, life on the line, and violence: one can keep the heart open and by doing so feel the world and the horrors of this day, or one can shut down and feel nothing, go numb. The cult of Donald Trump reveals that many among us have chosen the later.

However fascinating our bodies may be, on a fundamental level they are containers for something more mysterious and enchanting then what…


Something is wrong with the clockwork. Last week I turned 50. Weeks earlier I flip-flopped between being bored by the idea of sex and having a crush on everyone. I just bought reading glasses that don’t help. Two days ago I did something that I do all the time only now, being on the other side of 50, it was not predictably safe. A headstand like movement caused the calcium crystals in my inner ear to go where they should not. I got vertigo. …


Commanding is the word that comes to mind as I reach the top of the staircase at The Phillips House where with long necks and tempered enthusiasm well dressed art enthusiasts are examining a collection of Renoir paintings. As if plucking long stiff legs from wet sand they move like pink pelicans I once saw in Florida. The flock spreads out in each room and then squeeze together to fit through narrow archways. Hands on chins, fingers gliding horizontally over terse lips, they mutter mutter mutter to themselves in hushed tones an incomprehensible mumble, an audio response to having bumped…


Billionaires will not be boarding Southwest flight 1151 to Dallas today. This plane departs from New Mexico, not Denmark. The rich fly their own jets. Schlub amongst schlubs if any difference should exist it is that my poverty is voluntary, a sign of my privilege, an action rooted in a refusal to participate in the destruction of life lest I own a share of responsibility for what’s been done to it. Value being an elusive thing, I wonder if the people around me know how little they have. …

Wendy Tremayne

Habits — Contemplation, Embodiment, Art. Author of The Good Life Lab

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