Something is wrong with the clockwork. Last week I turned 50. Weeks earlier I flip-flopped between being bored by the idea of sex and having a crush on everyone. I just bought reading glasses that don’t help. Two days ago I did something that I do all the time only now, being on the other side of 50, it was not predictably safe. A headstand like movement caused the calcium crystals in my inner ear to go where they should not. I got vertigo. Trump lifted the ban on elephant trophies confirming my suspicion that there is something wrong with the clockwork of the universe.